Living together with your partner: by chance or by choice?
In my case, it was not a very thoughtful choice, it does not mean that I regret it. I was ready and mature enough to share my spaces. But once upon a time it was different, it was a crucial choice, and a prelude to marriage. Sort of a test run.
Nowadays the reasons for going to live together sometimes depend on savings: let’s go live together so we save on rent. So I wonder: was it better before or now? Is it better to make a conscious choice or do it because you have been led by other reasons? What is certain is that you don’t really know that person until you live together.
What I found out about my grumpy bearded for example, was that the only soap he uses is shampoo. You know, the shampoo has the world famous ‘falling power ‘: goes down on the whole body when you rinse it so it also acts as a shower bath, and finally ‘ a product is more than enough ‘! Aaaaah well that makes sense, for him. For his part I am sure that he was not ready to have the shower enclosure flooded with a selection of: shower bath, shampoo, conditioner, mask and razor ready to cut your foot.
Then, for some strange reason, as long as he lived alone he was able to get his washing machines. When we moved to live together had transformed: he was ‘unlearned’, no longer knew where to begin! I think that when a couple of his shirts magically became pastel pink he was quickly convinced that perhaps it was better to re-learn to face Miss unknown washing machine again.
I mean… Everyone has his own obsession… But better to know them before you bind yourselves ‘ till death do us part ‘. Or not? Did our grandparents do well to take a dip in the void? Or would they have preferred a period of test drive if they had not been obliged by morality to bind immediately and indissolubly?
As for my experience, I was lucky with it, what if he was a crazy psycho? Perhaps, then a 5-6 years of running-in before the fateful choice is fine, at least you arrive at the altar aware of your choice. Or maybe even far too conscious! So I think on the downside: this is why so many couples do not get married today?
In the mountains the story is quite different. They get married like they went to pick mushrooms after a flood. Every May here we go again, it’s marriage season! With all that comes then: stag and hen parties, baptisms, baby shower etc… All exhibited in public square of course, which for the elderly of the country is better than seeing 100 yards put together at work.
Some time ago even an 18-year-old girl got married. When these things happen, I can’t hold back. The first question I’m asking is, what’s your hurry?! Enjoy this world, travel! The second, inevitable: where do they take all money? Sure, because here things get big, 400 invited… You made a mortgage to get married? Ergo, do you have howler monkeys in your brain?
Okay, now I’ve become bigoted because I judge without knowing, but is stronger than me. However what does not happen is that these people never get divorced. I am therefore thinking that perhaps it is better to open the pack blindfolded that accurately scan it in years of coexistence.
Who knows. The only firm point is that there is no definitive and universal answer. You have to do what you feel like doing on your own time. It can be good or bad. But If you are for the idea forever together NOW I would sincerely suggest to make a check of the criminal record of the person you are going to live with…
Just joking….Well, remember, there is always the option of a dip in the void on the Grand Canyon; P